


the air, the after

by queerofcups



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 08:23:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10433526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerofcups/pseuds/queerofcups
Summary: A quiet moment after a liveshow.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little warm up I wrote after Dan's March 14th liveshow. Featuring a little of my theories about why they've been so stressed lately, and gratuitous Ribena.

“Hey,” Phil says. 

Dan glances over from the laptop where he’s logging out of YouNow.

“Hey,” Dan says back, then rolls his eyes at his equally hesitant tone. They’d had a row the day before and were doing the thing they always did after a serious fight, handling each other gently and speaking quietly. It was an annoying departure from the rough and tumble teasing way they usually spoke to each other, forged out of years of merciless mocking threaded through with fondness.

They weren’t even mad at each other, really. Dan knows, and suspects Phil knows that it was just the boiling over of tension from all the drama about making an offer on the house Phil had really liked and Dan had loved. And the tentative meeting they’d had about starting a third book. Dan’s mind still skitters over that thought, incredulous that anyone would think he and Phil have any stories interesting enough to fill a whole, photoless, book.

But that didn’t matter when Dan was yelling about cereal and Phil was making sharp, snide comments about late night pacing. It didn’t matter when Dan had attempted to sleep in his own rom for the first time since November.

(It’d been a valiant effort. He’d slammed his door at midnight, paced and fucked around on the internet for hours and finally admitted defeat by crawling under Phil’s covers at 5, the first weak rays of sunlight behind him.) 

“I saw your show,” Phil says, stepping into the room. He had two glasses of Ribena, one of which he hands to Dan.

That’s a little surprising. As far as Dan knew, Phil had been upstairs, editing the latest Dil video. He doesn’t usually watch Dan’s liveshows, since Phil had heard him say all of it, more coherently and with more detail.

“Yeah?” Dan asks, taking the drink. He turns in his chair to face Phil. He can read tiredness all over Phil’s body. It’s not the deep, wrung out exhaustion they wore like a second skin for weeks after the end of TATINOF. Dan is still struck with guilt at the idea that he’s responsible for Phil losing sleep.

“Yeah,” Phil repeats, nodding and smiling a little. “Love’s not just a social construct, huh? I guess we really are rebranding.”

Dan feels his cheeks pinking up. He’d honestly forgotten his little ramble. He’d been wrapped up in evading all the messages about that fucking Shane video and keeping from running his mouth about a book deal that they’re not even sure they’re taking yet.

“Yeah, well, you know. I couldn’t really act like I’ve never felt it? But I also couldn’t be like ah, yes, let me tell you about my love. Specifically for your other favorite youtuber, puke in my mouth guy.” Dan makes a face. Partly because, gross, but also because that came out snappier than he meant.

He’s relieved when Phil throws his head back and laughs. Dan sips his Ribena, watching Phil laugh and smiling into the rim of his glass.

“Is that my claim to fame now?” Phil asks, sitting on Dan’s bed. “I should change my username now, shouldn’t I? AmazingPukes. God, gross.”

“That’s disgusting,” Dan says, delighted. He gets up and sits on the bed, close enough to Phil that their thighs press together.

“You could have been though,” Phil says, voice quiet but still amused.  “You could have said that.”

That’s the crux of a lot of their tensions these days. What they can and can’t say. What they want to say, and what they don’t. What will be said for them, when they buy a house, when they (maybe) write a book, when they inch closer and closer together on camera and in public.

“I could have,” Dan says lightly, carefully. This is where they are now. They can say whatever they want. They’re prepared for the fallout. Everyone—families, managers, therapists—they’re all prepared for the fallout.  They just need to make the jump.

Dan resents having to brace for the impact.

He resents having to say anything at all, wants them to just _know_.

He wants to stop glancing at Phil during editing, zeroing in on their close-pressed arms, counting how many times his eyes track across Phil’s face down to his mouth.

He wants to stop thinking about the house, the maybe-book, his yammering about love as _statements_. He wants them to simply continue being what they are, just in a house and the option of answering questions, or not.

“You can,” Phil repeats. “If you don’t mind announcing your love for a guy called AmazingPukes.”

Dan snickers a little and shakes his head, leaning into Phil. “I mean. I did just spend three minutes essentially talking about how much I want to bang you. And also how co-dependent I am.”

Phil wraps an arm around Dan’s shoulder. “You did. The videos are definitely going up on tumblr as we speak.”

Dan groans, presses a hand into his cheek.

Phil chuckles beside him and asks after dinner, the tension of the week slipping away in the soft cadence of their conversation.


End file.
